This is part two of a five part series on becoming a better coach. Each article explores a different element of what it takes to help others accomplish more than they thought they could and become the kind of coach that can consistently build high performing teams and an unstoppable organization.

A few weeks back I caught myself uttering the phrase “because I said so” to one of my kids. I immediately had one of those moments when you realize that you just did something you swore you would never do. I did it because it was quicker, and easier and I was focused on getting the task done, not helping my daughter.

Effective coaching is about building capability. It’s about creating in others the capacity to solve problems on their own, to think differently about solutions, and to examine their own thinking about any challenge they are facing. Too often, we make it about giving them the answer so they can get the task done, at the expense of creating the capability to accomplish that task, and others, better in the future.

Let me give you an example of the difference I have seen in managers I have worked with. The first manager we will call Scott. Scott was a phenomenal sales representative and was promoted to a management position because of his sales success. Scott’s approach to his team is to help them understand why he was successful and to encourage them to duplicate his best practices in order to achieve that same success for themselves. During a discussion at a sales meeting, the subject of building better client relationships comes up and Scott quickly begins recounting how he created those relationships during his sales career and gives lots of specific examples. One tactic that Scott used religiously was celebrating clients’ birthdays, complete with a cake that was delivered and a personal handwritten note from Scott. He insists that members of his sales team adopt this tactic for their own clients. There’s no doubt that some of the sales representatives on Scott’s team will use this approach to help them improve their connections with clients. Read the rest of this entry »